Kirjoittaja: pecsy
Ikäraja: S
Alkuperäinen kappale: Musta Barbaari -- Salil eka salil vika
Varoitukset: aika, öhöm, kiekuraista englantia
Kommentteja: TVTropesissa on aika hauska foorumipeli jossa otetaan pätkä räppikappaleen sanoitusta ja tehdään siitä salonkikelpoista yleiskieltä.
Mulla vähän... vähän lähti tää mopo käsistä sit.
My most respected brother,
Whosoever it may be that proposed it be plausible, or indeed possible at all, to yield profit without contributing the toil and effort of planting the seed and tilling the land, it is my heartfelt advice for you to not believe such a fanciful fantasy.
I am, after all, the Black Barbarian; and verily the good sirs about town do not call me 'nigger'; instead I am known to them as the most impressively built piece of liquorice that can be found in all of Helsinki; and while I linger on the topic of 'niggers', let me remind you, my dearest brother, how it is said a 'nigger' will never perish.
As the night is coated in an unbroken veil of darkness, so is my own skin; and every night as I lie resting, in the dream the spirit of revered Tupac finds me and addresses me thus: "Lend me your ear, oh brother, for what I am about to say is the veritable truth: the white man will not find it in himself to pay you your deserved respect before your physical form verily impresses them." This vision stirred me from my sleep and brought beads of perspiration upon my brow; and I cried out in my triump of realisation that indeed I was, by goodnesses' sake, alive! What had transpired greatly inspired me to try and perfect my physique as far as my health and the good fortune should allow.
In my daily life it is not rare at all for me to find that many of the white aboriginals I encounter would harbour thought of sending me, in their interpretation an indubitable barbarian, back to his place of African origin. No degree of emphasis would be excessive when I swear to you that returning most definitely is not an option that I would ever regard in seriousness. Not even the sturdiest of cages, that should safely hold a rhinoceros or other such beast of formidable might, could restrain me now; let that be the measure of how exceedingly strong and how thoroughly black I am.
No other motivation is needed at this moment: after all, I am, if those who scorn me should be believed, a wicked black devil, not a friend. That being said, nothing will be gained without enduring some pain, and this in mind I have no objection to stay overnight at the gymnastic hall if need be. I spend all of my waking hours training my physique; and I draw my sustenance from the social security benefits. This bothers not my conscious; after all am I not carrying, each day, the most immense burden that can befall a man in this Northern country of reserved Finns who doubt anything that is new to them: and that burden is to be of black-complexioned persuasion.
In case of you should find yourself in financial hardship yet fancy the thought of owning a Bentley-made auto-car, simply take your person to the nearest money-lender to benefit from his expertise, or otherwise do whatever it might be you find profitable; after all you are yet alive and indeed many possibilities are open to you by that blessing alone.
My own life has now been strictly dictated by the mandates of physical improvement; the figure of Tupac did, after all, visit me in a nightly vision and persuaded me to work hard. Indeed, I now visit the gymnastic hall regularly to widen my frame; and I wear nothing but black even as I do not associate myself with the listeners of that musical form characterised by harsh pounding of various percussive instruments as well as strained yowls of electrically enloudened guitars, and is known by the moniker of 'Heavy Metal' to those more familiar with youthful musical culture. In the lifting of weighs, I find myself an artist of sorts; my body being my canvas and the weighs being the brush.
Should you happen upon me and wish to communicate our brotherhood, greet me not by the hat-tipping or head-nodding customs of white men; instead, pierce the air with your dark fist. However if I should find reason to not consider you appreciably built, be not surprised if I fail to greet you in likewise manner. Let it, however, never be said—even though I envaluate my fellow men by their committed to the art of muscular improvement—that I would ever let racial matters affect my preference: after all, my chauffeur, whom I am not ashamed to mention I greatly respect, is of the paler persuasion.
If I may try your patience for a short while yet, I'd like to comment the intense specialisation found of my training programme: only weight lifting, without any machinery, even as simple as merely guiding the path of lifting or offering support; and not a step taken on the rotatory running carpet—why should I have any need for such after the years I spent in home Africa, rescuing myself from the attacks of the fiercest of lions by the method of quick foot alone: such was my speed that I never had reason to fear. Am I not, thusly, the truest of any brother who has lived after the time of Tupac?
Without any need for closer investigation, it has become evident to me that the trouble you have with sculpting upon your bones a harmonious form, communicating power and excellent health, is firmly and fruitfully rooted in the thought that so easily deceives the wisest of men; the impatience if I may say so; the naïve hope that such a feat may be accomplished without paying the heavy, and indeed, ever increasing toll of labour and pain. This sentiment, my brother, is richly deserving of utmost disregard. Cardinal, nay, crucial, to your ambitions, is an unerodable resolution to each day begin your workings-out when all your peers are yet to arrive to the training grounds, and also only retire to rest after they have left.
It is my dearest hope that these words have offered you comfort and guidance; and let it be repeated once more: a black man will indeed never perish.
